You were born to suffer

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.
Friedrich Nietzsche

You are the most advanced organism that the mystery that is life has ever created. Everything about you is the apex of what could possibly be. But you have to consider how, human beings as a species, have survived and developed to such and extent. The cars we drive today are barely recognisable compared to the first cars a hundred years ago. Suspension systems, anti-lock brakes, air conditioning, parking sensors, in car stereo systems all the features we take forgranted today. But there is only one reason cars today are so much better than cars yesterday and that is a relentless pursuit of improvement. There is big money in cars and manufacturers across the world have had big incentives to constantly invest in designing, inventing and improving every aspect. It is this tireless commitment to making things better that have brought about such incredible change. Well the human body is just the same.

Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.
Angelina Jolie

Our bodies themselves and the ways which we live have survived, thrived and improved because of constant striving to make things better. To that end the human condition is to always want something more, to always be looking for improvements and upgrades. The way the mind motivates us to continue on this unending improvement drive is to make us suffer. This is really important, you are designed to suffer even if things are ok because your body always wants things to be better. If you have ever had bad tooth ache you will understand suffering and may have found yourself swearing that never again would you take the condition of not having tooth ache forgranted. But equally you may be able to relate to the person who takes a dream vacation to a tropical paradise, while lying back on the sun lounger on the beach, being served cocktails by a private waiter they can’t help but wish the sun didn’t glare so much off their book straining their eyes, or perhaps they wish there was a bit more of a breeze to cool them down or maybe a fly is ruining their moment. The point is no matter what your situation it is very unlikely you will ever find yourself completely free of suffering.

Incidentally many clients tell me that the experience of being is deep hypnosis is as close as they ever come to perfect happiness. Hypnosis is a wonderful feeling and many clients come to me just to enjoy the unique relaxed alert feeling.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen

Now, realising that we were born to suffer could be a very bleak prospect but in fact it can offer great comfort. As long as you understand and remember the following 1) Just because you are suffering it doesn’t necessarily mean your life is going wrong. 2) All your problems are just challenges for you to overcome, your mind makes things unpleasant not to punish you but to motivate you to keep moving forwards and improving. 3) You can decide how much you suffer. You are in control, you can suffer problems or look for solutions.

All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.
Helen Keller

So, when you find yourself relaxing on a tropical paradise and that fly is driving you mad buzzing around your drink you can choose how to react. You can wallow in self pitty, make the suffering much worse by attaching an emotional charge to how unfair it is. You can get angry that this fly is spoiling the holiday you paid so much for and let that minor annoyance completely ruin your whole week. OR You can remind yourself that nothing can ever be perfect, you will always find something to improve and that on the scale of things a little fly shouldn’t cancel out all the wonderful things.

You are not your brain

Or rather your brain is not your mind. Do you ever talk to yourself? Most of us do, in fact for the majority of us there is a near constant verbal chatter going on inside our heads all the time. This can be anything from a running commentary and problem consultation to random words or perhaps lines from a song that pop in and swirl around our minds.

“You have power over your mind -not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Marcus Aurelius,

But stop for a second to analyse the question - Do you ever talk to yourself? If the answer is yes then we have to realise we are talking about two separate things having a conversation. Most of the time we tend to think we are the central character that all the things we experience happen to. But when you start to realise that your thoughts, emotions and internal chatter all continue without you controling them then you may start to get the feeling that they are something other to the real ‘you’. You may experience thoughts, emotions and feelings in exactly the same way you experience sights, smells, physical feelings. Sometimes you purposely seek out a smell and concentrate on it, other times it drifts in and you can’t help but observe it. The same perhaps with thoughts?

"For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his mind will remain the greatest enemy."

The Bhagavad Gita

 So the big question is - if you can sit as a third party and observe your thought and feelings - who is doing that observation and who is having the thoughts? No-one has yet found a satisfactory answer to that question and it is central to most religions.

The Power of Now

“What day is it?"
It's today," squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day," said Pooh.”
A.A. Milne

Many religious and spiritual practices are based on the fact that the only thing that ever really exists is right now. Everything you have ever experienced was a series of single moments and once they have passed they exist no more than all the experiences waiting in your future. As humans we spend most of our time living in the past and anticipating the future.

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”
Rainer Maria Rilke

We rarely take time to fully experience the moment we are living in. For the majority of time everything is pretty ok in the now. Yet we torture ourselves with memories of the past and fears of the future. Consider yourself right now, this very instant. if you could turn off all the bad memories and stop worrying about anything in the future, and that might be anything from dreading having to clean the dishes to fearing your own death.

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy

or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be.
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.
I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.”
Groucho Marx,

 If you could turn of all those thoughts and concentrate only on what is happening right now, how would you feel? Is anything to hard to bare right now? You might be in pain, but how much of the distress is knowing the pain continue into the future, a few seconds, minutes or hours from now. If you knew that the pain was going to be gone completely in 3 seconds time would what you are experiencing now feel any less distressing? Forget about the future and the past, how are you right now? Warm enough? How hungry and thirsty are you?

“We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable.

It would be wise to use that time adoring our families,
cherishing our friends and living our lives.”
Maya Angelou

Anyone can find the resolve to deal with any particular instant. This second right now is your only contact with life. Grab hold of it with both hands, stop waiting for your life to begin, stop waiting for things to change and most of all stop dreading tomorrow.

We all like to believe we have free will. That we consciously make the decision about what we do. You walk into the kitchen and you decided tea, coffee, water? You make your decision and make your drink.

The upside of believing in free will is that we can take credit for our successes and achievements. You run a marathon and you feel pride, you consciously pushed yourself every step of the way.

But there is a darker downside, as a species we tend to dwell more on our short comings. We tend to blame ourselves for negative things we have done. If you smoke and don’t want to the chances are that you blame yourself. You blame yourself for starting, you blame yourself for not having the will power to quit. You feel like every cigarette you smoke is a choice you make out of weakness. The same if you are overweight, you might feel you are weak willed, greedy or foolish.

Well, that is simply not true. I will say it clear. You do not have conscious free will. You do not make decisions the way you think you do. The person that you identify as ‘you’, that is the voice in your head, the conscious thoughts you have is really just a puppet playing out the actions that the real you, the subconscious you , the you that you can’t talk to wants it to.

That might sound far fetched. We don’t like the idea that the decisions we make through reason and conscious analysis have already been made long before we started to think of them.

But I ask you this:

You go to the kitchen and choose between tea and coffee. You love tea but you can’t stand coffee. Which choice are you going to make? But the bigger issue is - when did you make the choice to love tea? If you wanted to could you decide to no longer dislike coffee? The answer is actually you don’t have much conscious control over what tastes you like and what you dislike - something else makes that decision.

Another question:

Who chooses the things you are scared of? If you are afraid of heights or spiders or the dark or whatever your personal fears are that is not something you chose. Most people would rather be rid of their fears and phobias. Most people don’t want to be scared of the things they are scared off, but they still are - something else has made the decision to make them scared.
Another one:

Who decides the people that you love? Apart from proximity and choosing to spend tome with people or not, what input do you have about whether you fall in love with someone or not. A mother doesn’t make the conscious choice to love her children and she can’t make a conscious choice to stop loving them. Heartbreak at the end of a relationship is incredibly painful and unpleasant, no-one wants to suffer that. It is the apin of knowing you can’t be with someone that you still love. Now, if you could consciously choose who we love surely people suffering the agony of heartbreak would simply choose not to love the person that they are missing and immediately turn off all that pain. But you can’t - something else makes the decisions about who you love.

Final one:

How long can you hold your breath? It’s your body and with your conscious mind you can make the decision to control your own breathing. We all know how to hold our breath for short periods of time. But actually none of us, no matter what our motivation can make the decision to stop breathing permanently. You cannot suffocate yourself just by holding your breath. As soon as you hold you breath you enter into a battle with something. The longer you continue to hold the stronger the resistance from this invisible force, you can feel it physically. Eventually this force with override your free will - something else makes the decision about whether you breath or not

I hope that we have established that your conscious thoughts make only a very small impact on your preferences and your preferences have a massive impact on your day to day decisions.

So the real question is: who does decide what we like, what we dislike, what we love, what we hate, what we crave and what we detest, what we are scared of and what we are attracted to?

Over the next few blogs we will explore that very question

I always take time to look at how my Hypnotherapy clients find me. Most people come to me by way of personal referral from satisfied clients, that is very gratifying. What I find most interesting however is looking at the google reports on what people are searching to find my site (by the way the information is anonymous, I never know who is searching what).

One of the search terms that I see coming up time and again is ‘Shyness Hypnotherapy’ or ‘Hypnosis for Shyness’ I am very pleased that a search on those terms brings clients to me. Because of all the things that Hyposis can be used for shyness, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, social anxiety and stage fright rank among the most treatable and yield the most impressive results. There is nothing I enjoy about my wonderful job more than seeing someone who has held themselves back from experiencing so much have a breakthrough and suddenly open up a whole world of possibility when they shake off the curse of shyness using hypnosis.

Many people are shy, to a degree shyness is natural and even beneficial, but being too shy can be crippling. Extreme shyness can lead to a condition known as social phobia, an anxiety disorder that make people so desperate to avoid embarrassing themselves that they avoid social situations all together or experience severe stress at the thought of engaging with other people whom they feel may judge them. This is the classic type of person that can benefit most from the wonderful art of hypnosis.

You may be suffering from social phobia if you spend time worrying or dreading social functions. If you find meeting new people extremely stressful. If social situations easily lead to you blushing, sweating, having a pounding heart or even suffering panic attacks. Physical reactions like that can be overwhelming. but the great news is you can easily overcome them using hypnosis.

During a hypnotic trance we can explore your subconscious mind and find out the root cause of your excessive worrying, we can eliminate any wrong ideas and neutralise bad experiences that have led you to feel this way. We can also create strategies that give you instant boost of confidence whenever you need it and develop your social skills so you become calm, confident and in control - whatever the situation.

I offer free telephone consultations to anyone interested in hypnotherapy, but it is not uncommon for social anxiety to extend to using the telephone. If that is the case then we can talk about hypnotherapy and how it might help you by email, text or even facebook chat. email me directly with the words ‘I’m shy’ and I will do the rest.

By the way, if you are on facebook look me up I have been lucky enough to have been blessed with a valuable talent for hypnotherapy - but I am just a normal person like you. Have a look at my profile and you will see pictures of my wife, my kids my big clumsy dog. I don’t want anyone to ever feel intimidated to contact me.

You don’t have to live with these feelings, you don’t have to put up with dread and fear and anxiety. Hypnotherapy can help you and fast. Please get in contact.

p.s: I am planning a series of affordable shyness hypnotherapy group meetings in the near future, please email me to find out when they are


What to expect in a free initial telephone consultation

We are pleased to offer you an absolutely free initial telephone consultation.

The call will take about 20 minutes and will give you the chance to ask anything you want about hypnotherapy, us and how we can help you. Hypnotherapy is very effective for a large range of issues but you need to be sure that it is the right option for you.

Firstly: Don’t worry, we are not going to try and hypnotise you over the phone and we won’t try to tackle any of your issues or talk about uncomfortable things.

Secondly: The call will be with a Professional Clinical Hypnotherapist - not a salesman. So relax there is not going to be any pressure or hard sell.

We will aim to answer all your questions as directly as possible, questions like:

  • How and why can Hypnotherapy help with my issue?
  • What experience do you have helping people with this issue
  • What level of success can I expect?
  • How many sessions will it take?
  • How much will it all cost?
  • What is it like to be hypnotised
  • What will happen in a session?
  • Is it confidential?
  • What do all these different types of hypnosis you list on your website mean?
So don’t sit an wonder. Remember:

  • The call is Free
  • The call is 100% confidential
  • We are friendly
  • We are professionals you don’t need to be embarrassed and we won’t be judging you.
  • You can ask anything you want or you can let us do all the talking
  • We are not going to try and sell to you and you won’t be pressured to agree to anything on the phone.
  • What we do want to do is to make sure you have all the knowledge you need in order to make an informed decision about hypnotherapy. We want you to be comfortable with hypnotherapy but also comfortable with us and our approach.

If we don’t think Hypnotherapy is right for you we will tell you and where we can we will suggest alternative approaches.

To book you call all you need to do is:

Call our receptionist on 0117 230 0073 and book a slot

Or email us on

We look forward to speaking with you soon.

June 1st 2013

Master Hypnotherapist brings revolutionary technique to the Blackmore Vale

ALEXANDER David is a master hypnotherapist who has created a revolutionary technique for lasting positive change. He has worked successfully in London, Edinborough and Munich running hypnotherapy clinics and teaching his life changing hypnotherapy technique ‘chronology lock’ to other experts in the field. And now he had brought his skills to the Blackmore Vale area.

If you are looking for a way to quit bad habits like smoking, grow in confidence, overcome trauma in your past or lose weight - among many other issues that hypnotherapy can help you with - the Alexander David is available to help, either in his luxurious rooms within Milborne Port’s highly acclaimed 56 London Road Clinic, or in your own home.

One of Alexander’s most popular treatments is the incredible ‘hypnotic gastric band’ - which will help you eat less and lose weight rapidly at a fraction of the cost with none of the health risks of the dramatic surgery it is named for.

His Chronology Lock technique has helped hundreds of people to stop smoking in a single, one hour session and never look back. Alexander is also credited with helping a great many people to overcome life inhibiting phobias in less than an hour.

Alexander says: “I discovered the power of hypnosis in my early twenties; I had been through various forms of therapy and complementary therapies for an issue I thought I would never overcome.

“I had seen hypnotists and been told I was ‘impossible to hypnotise’ - then met a great hypnotist in a bar who laughed and dismissed that, had me hypnotised in minutes and agreed to treat me in his clinic. He helped me in one session- and seeing that power made me want to learn how to help other people with it. “There are hypnotists out there who aren’t well trained, who don’t really understand the power of hypnosis, and who let their clients down. I want to change that. I want to help people to live the best lives they can live”

I you want to learn more Alexander David, and the Alexander Psyche Centre, are offering a free hypnosis report, which explains more about how hypnosis works and how to choose a reputable hypnotist.

For more information got to

I am very pleased to be attending the annual Britmums conference in London this weekend.

I will be meeting several people who are interested in using hypnotherapy for a range of purposes and also taking the opportunity to get some new hints and tips on web marketing.

Britmums is a network of 'Mummy bloggers' that is mothers who write blogs. But you can forget any ideas about homely women with a little hobby to keep them busy while the kids are asleep. No, blogging is a serious business and these ladies are some of the best.

What excites me best about working with the Mummy Bloggers is that they are people who have already shown creativity, tenacity and the ability to create opportunity where others see problems.

See, most Mummy bloggers have found themselves unable to work regular 9-5's through other commitments (late pregancy, small children, school runs etc) but instead of submitting to a life of economic inactivity they have embarked on small business that allow them to keep up with their childcare commitments while making money doing something worthwhile that they love.

Some mummy bloggers focus on big issues and fundraising. Others are incredibly entrepreneurial and make excellent money through advertising and partnership with other businesses while others still manage to maintain excellent social relations through their chosen medium.

Now, who wouldn't want to work with a group of people like that?

Mummy Bloggers I salute you and look forward to working together. 

Very Interesting article here. Carol Shaw the owner of Lomac cosmetics has been talking to NYmag about how she cured her acne using hypnotherapy. Carol says that Self-hypnosis helped calm her skin condition and eventually rid herself of acne forever.

At the Alexander Psyche Centre I have worked with a number of patients to lessen the severity of skin conditions ranging from Acne to Eczema. The remarkable results show how much of our physical condition is controlled by the subconcious mind.

Firefighters in Eastern France have embarked on a pilot to use hypnosis in emergency situations to help victims control pain, remain calm and handle very stressful situations.

120 Firemen in the Haguenau centre are to be taught emergency hypnosis techniques to use alongside traditional first aid and emerency response techniques

It is believed that quick use of emergency hypnotic techniques will be especially useful to help victims who are trapped in crashed cars or collapsed buildings and hypnotic pain control may be very valuable to help control pain in burn victims.

This is the first time a fire service has explored hypnosis and it is hoped that following this trial the skills will be rolled out across France.

The firefighters will also be taught hypnotic techniques to control their own stress response in extreme situations.

It is great to see the emergency services using the power of hypnosis to help in disaster situations.

At the Alexander Psyche Centre all out hypnotherapists are trained in emergency hypnosis as well as sepcial hypnotic pain control techniques that can be used effectively on patients undergoing surgery, dental work or labour as well as to control chronic pain, particularly pain linked to cancer.

If you would like to learn how to use self hypnosis to overcome chronic or acute pain or if you would like further information on how hypnosis can be used for stress athen please contact us or visit